Boss : There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?
Employee : That's easy, 49.
Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge
Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.
Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Employee : She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...
Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the aeroplane. Thats the
problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!
Moral: If ur boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.
-------------------------------------
NIGERIA. Look right and left for vehicles and okada, look up for
aeroplane, down for bomb, back for kidnappers, look side, hold ur handbag
tight nd watch d person beside u, Then walk zig zag to reach your
destination.....
--------------------------------------
Very strange But True ?
???????
The Prime minister of this country is Economist,
???????
The President is Economist,
???????
Finance minister is Economist,
???????
And..
Governor of the Reserve Bank is also Economist...
???????
Even Then country's economy is sinking ...
Moral : Too many cooks will spoil the food. .???
------------------------------------
A Nigerian, an American and a German board a plane. As the plane was flying over the sea, Satan came out and said to them: I want u to drop something into the sea, if I find it, u die and if I don't u live. The American quickly plucked a button from his shirt and threw into the sea, Satan dived into the sea and came up with the button. "See!" he said and killed the American. The German threw a pin into the sea. Satan dived in and came out with the pin. "See!" he said and killed the German.
The Nigerian brought out a pure water sachet, opened it and poured the contents into the sea holding back the sachet he said to Satan "Oya begin find water inside water... Idiot".....
Proud to be a Nigerian!!
Even the devil bowed.
Naija rocks......
Monday, October 7, 2013
Arab Sheikhs Are Going Crazy for This $3 Million Motor Home
The world's most expensive mobile home has gone on sale in Dubai for £2 million, or $3.1 million at today's conversion rates, The Daily Mail reports.
The humongous, 40-foot-long eleMMent Palazzo from Austrian company Marchi Mobile is covered with gold and comes with a ton of luxury features, including a 40-inch flat screen, a pop-up cocktail lounge, a fireplace, a master bedroom, and underfloor heating.
The moving mansion can even clean itself. "... the vehicle has been a hit among oil-rich Arab Sheikhs - the state-of-the-art homes even wash themselves after a day's driving through the Middle Eastern desert," the Daily Mail reports.
But the amazing vehicle could also cater to any multi-millionaire or global superstar on the road. It's also available in white (shown here).
The humongous, 40-foot-long eleMMent Palazzo from Austrian company Marchi Mobile is covered with gold and comes with a ton of luxury features, including a 40-inch flat screen, a pop-up cocktail lounge, a fireplace, a master bedroom, and underfloor heating.
The moving mansion can even clean itself. "... the vehicle has been a hit among oil-rich Arab Sheikhs - the state-of-the-art homes even wash themselves after a day's driving through the Middle Eastern desert," the Daily Mail reports.
But the amazing vehicle could also cater to any multi-millionaire or global superstar on the road. It's also available in white (shown here).
Inside,
there is ample space for for lounging.
Upstairs
(yes, it's a double decker) there's a master bedroom, complete with
windows and wall art.
It
even has its own en-suite bathroom.
There's
also a cocktail lounge area for entertaining.
This is where the driver sits on the
top floor.
The
eleMMent can expand at the touch of a button to give riders more interior
space.
And
there's a drop down staircase and pop up sky lounge at the top.
Complete
with couches and a table for guests.
This
is the WHITE model
Muhammad Ali's advice to his daughters
The following incident took place when Muhammad Ali's daughters arrived
at his home wearing clothes that were not modest. Here is the story as
told by one of his daughters:
When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father's suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.
My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them."
He looked at me with serious eyes. "Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too." Source: Taken from the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali's Life Lessons Through His Daughter's Eyes.
When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father's suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.
My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them."
He looked at me with serious eyes. "Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too." Source: Taken from the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali's Life Lessons Through His Daughter's Eyes.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Entrepreneurship does not need an email id
A
jobless man applied for the position of “office boy” at Microsoft. The
HR manager interviewed him, then gave him the ‘ability test”: Clean the
floor.The applicant did so. “You passed the test” the HR Manager said ”
give me your e-mail address and I’ll send you the application form to
fill, as well as when you will start.
The man replied, ” I don’t have a computer, nor an email”
“I’m
sorry,” said the HR manager, “if you don’t have an email, means you do
not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”
The man
left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only 10 US$ in
his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10 Kg
crate of tomatoes.
He then
sold the tomatoes in a door-to-door round. In less than two hours, He
succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with 60 US$…
The
man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go
everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled
every day.
Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US…
He started
to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance. He
called an insurance broker, and chooses a protection plan.
When the
conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email address. The
man replied, “I don’t have email “. The broker answered curiously “you
don’t have email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you
imagine what you could have been if you had an email?”
The man thought for a while and replied” Yes, I’d be an office boy @ Microsoft!”
The Pope At A Brazillian Beach
We need a bigger beach! THREE MILLION people pack Rio's Copacabana beach for final Mass of Pope Francis's tour of Brazil
'Jesus offers us something bigger than the World Cup!' he says, drawing applause from football-mad Brazilians
Pope Francis
has completed a historic trip to his home continent by celebrating mass
to three million people on Rio de Janeiro's Copacabana beach.
The colossal
crowds cheered the first Latin American pope in a remarkable response to
his message that the Catholic Church must shake itself up and get out
into the streets to find the faithful.
Nuns mixed
with bikini-clad young women as nearly the entire 2.5-mile crescent of
Copacabana’s broad beach in Rio overflowed with people, some of them
taking an early morning dip in the Atlantic and others tossing flags and
football shirts into the pontiff’s open-sided car as he drove by.
Preaching to the converted: Pope Francis
celebrates his final mass on Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro, where
his message that the Catholic Church must shake itself up and get out
into the streets to find the faithful was met with cheers by the
faithful
Once in a lifetime: Nuns mixed with
bikini-clad young women as nearly the entire 2.5-mile crescent of
Copacabana's broad beach in Rio overflowed with people
Colossal crowds: Catholic pilgrims, many of them dressed in Brazil's national colours, watch as the Pope gives Mass
Worshippers clutched rosary beads and prayer cards as they jostled for space on Copacabana Beach to hear the pontiff speak
Francis worked the crowd, kissing babies, taking a sip of mate tea handed up to him and catching gifts on the fly.
Even the normally stern-faced Vatican bodyguards let smiles slip as they jogged alongside his car, caught up in the enthusiasm of the crowd.
Even the normally stern-faced Vatican bodyguards let smiles slip as they jogged alongside his car, caught up in the enthusiasm of the crowd.
Many of the
crowd had spent the night on the beach, an all-night slumber party to
end World Youth Day that had a festive Latin air, with pilgrims wrapped
in flags and sleeping bags to ward off the cold.
They danced, prayed and sang - and stood in long lines in front of the armadas of portable bathrooms along the beachfront.
'We were dying
of cold but it was worth it,' said Lucrecia Grillera, an 18-year-old
from Cordoba, Argentina, where Francis lived for a time before becoming
pope.
Pope Francis blesses a child held aloft as
he rides on the popemobile through the millions of people who had
travelled from across Latin America to see him
Security guards run to keep up with Pope
Francis as he arrives for his final mass on Copacabana beach: He worked
the crowd, kissing babies, taking a sip of mate tea handed up to him and
catching gifts on the fly
Francis smiles as he blesses the son of a
policeman clutching a Brazilian flag: Many of the crowd had spent the
night on the beach, an all-night slumber party to end World Youth Day
that had a festive Latin air
For posterity: Millions of pilgrims point the cameras at the religious leader to capture moment his motorcade swept past
By morning,
the beach and adjoining Atlantic Avenue looked like an improvised
refugee camp plunked down in the middle of one of the most beautiful
cities in the world.
Copacabana's
famous mosaic sidewalks were strewn with trampled cardboard, plastic
bags, empty water bottles and cookie wrappers and the stench of garbage
and human waste hung in the humid air.
Vendors
hawking World Youth Day trinkets, t-shirts, hats and flags did brisk
business as pilgrims snapped up souvenirs before heading home.
Jehovah's Witnesses stood by stands stocked with pamphlets on 'What does the Bible really teach,' but they had few takers.
Flanked by members of the clergy, Pope Francis waved to the masses as the World Youth Day celebrations came to an end
21st Century pilgrims: As they awaited Pope
Francis's arrival, pilgrims danced, prayed and sang - and stood in long
lines in front of the armadas of portable bathrooms along the beachfront
Warmly dressed: A pilgrim wakes up after a
night of vigil on Copacabana beach. The Vatican said more than three
million people were on hand for the Mass, based on information from
World Youth Day organisers and local authorities
Crowds pack the beach as the pope's
motorcade makes its way: Many of those at the vigil had tears in their
eyes as they listened to Francis call for them to not be 'part-time
Christians' and to build up their church like his namesake, St. Francis
of Assisi, was called to do
A special day: Priests wait for the arrival
of Pope Francis for the final mass of his visit. The Pope was set to
return to Rome tonight after a week-long trip
The Vatican
said more than three million people were on hand for the Mass, based on
information from World Youth Day organisers and local authorities.
Not all of
them were paying attention to the Mass: children posed for random photos
with people holding flags, snoozed and packed up their makeshift camps.
Finding food
was a core concern, with long lines of bedraggled pilgrims snaking out
of cafes and ice cream vendors mobbed by youths starved for breakfast.
The presidents
of Brazil, Francis' native Argentina, Bolivia and Suriname were on hand
for the Mass, as were the vice presidents of Uruguay and Panama.
Nuns joined the beachfront vigil led by Pope
Francis for the 28th World Youth Day in Rio de Janeiro, with many of
the three million-strong crowd staying put for mass
Pilgrims unfold a huge image of Pope
Francis: Vendors hawking World Youth Day trinkets, t-shirts, hats and
flags did brisk business as pilgrims snapped up souvenirs before heading
home
A faithful continent: Brazil's President
Dilma Rousseff, left, Argentina's President Cristina Fernandez, centre,
and Bolivia's President Evo Morales, attend the Mass on Copacabana beach
Many spent the night on the beach, an
all-night slumber party to end the Catholic youth festival, with
pilgrims wrapped in flags and sleeping bags to ward off the cold
Pope Francis blesses a family of four, the
parents dressed in Brazil football shirts, during the final Mass: One
pilgrim who was on Copacabana beach to experience the spiritual event
called it 'marvellous'
Even the animals came... A stray dog walks
down the stairs of the altar as Pope Francis (not seen) celebrates his
final mass on Copacabana Beach
Many of those
at the vigil had tears in their eyes as they listened to Francis’ call
for them to not be 'part-time Christians' and to build up their church
like his namesake, St. Francis of Assisi, was called to do.
'Jesus offers us something bigger than the World Cup!' Francis said, drawing cheers from the crowd in this football-mad nation.
He urged young
Catholics to go out and spread their faith 'to the fringes of society,
even to those who seem farthest away, most indifferent.'
'The church needs you, your enthusiasm, your creativity and the joy that is so characteristic of you!' he said to applause.
The Pope was
set to return to Rome tonight after a week-long trip, once he had met
the bishops of Latin America and the Caribbean and held a thank-you
audience with some of the 60,000 volunteers who organised the youth
festival.
'It was such
an excellent week, everybody was in such good spirit, you could just
feel a sense of peace,' said Denise da Silva, a Rio de Janeiro Catholic
who was sitting alone on the beach Sunday morning, a Brazilian flag
painted on her face.
Incredible sight: A man reaches out of the
window of a glass-fronted hotel to take a photo of the millions of
Catholics gathered to see Pope Francis's final mass of trip to Brazil
A series of giant screens allowed the throng, many of whom had camped overnight, to see the distant Pope Francis up close
A bishop whipped out his camera to take a picture of the astounding scenes at Copacabana beach ahead of Sunday afternoon mass
A flag celebrating Krakow flew above the
crowds following Francis's announcement that the next World Youth Day
would be held in the Polish city
Popeacabana: The millions of worshippers
turned out to welcome the first Latin American pontiff home on his first
overseas trip as the leader of the Roman Catholic Church
An Interesting Slideshow - A Must Watch
Every time it's watched, the girls’ schools get some money from Slide Rocket.
It is very short – there are 24 slides...and nothing else to do.
Please watch this fabulous video and pass it on to others.
http://portal.sliderocket.com/
http://portal.sliderocket.com/
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