Once you reach the bottom, do what it says.............. It actually works!?
New Church Signs?
Life is Hard
Afterlife is Harder!
Love this next one!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
New Church Signs
Once you reach the bottom, do what it says.............. It actually works!?
New Church Signs?
Life is Hard
Afterlife is Harder!
Love this next one!
Think & Talk .. in that order and not in reverse!
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!
He said to himself.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was close to him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike
him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
'Very Well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
'Very Well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
Just for Fun
Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.
"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!
"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!
.............................................................
There are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.
Before Marriage and After Marriage.
.............................................................
My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.
.............................................................
Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo
and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target...
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What Are You Doing...
Husband: "MISSING YOU"...
.............................................................
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
Women are like phones:They like to be held, talked to and touched often.
But push the wrong button and you're disconnected.......
.............................................................
Difference Between Complete & Finish...
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there
is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you
marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one
catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!
.............................................................
There are 3 kinds of men in the world:
Some remain single & make wonders happen,
Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen,
The rest get married & wonder what happened!?
.............................................................
The A B C.
After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G,
H.... I, J, K."
She asks...... "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fancy,
Gorgeous, Honey.
She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely.....
What about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
His eye is still swollen....but it will get better.........
.............................................................
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
..............................
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?The other replied, "Yes I am, I
married the wrong man."
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