GOOD MORNING

Doggy Tales

C-c-can I use your potty next time?                          "Hang a left.  Road work ahead."                                                          Look, look Mom, he has my nose, don't you think?                                     "Oh. . . Oh! -- Over to the left a little, up. . . up, up some more. . . right there!  Ooohh that feels good!" Ahh Jeffy!  You're getting so big! I love you so much!       "I think -- I swallowed the cat!" "Take a DEEP breath and hold it please." "Meowwwwww"                                                    "And I brought my horsey to sleep at your house Nana.  I always sleep with my horsey."               "If I come, do I get a treat?"

 

 

Acts 2:38................!!!

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. 

She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of it's valuables and yelled:

'Stop! Acts 2:38!'  (Repent and be Baptised, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks.  The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar:

'Why did you just stand there?  All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.'

"Scripture?' replied the burglar

'She said she had an Axe and Two 38s!'

Share this with someone who needs a laugh today and remember:  Knowing scripture can save your life - in more ways than one! 

Hymn #365

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said,

'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down...

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'